Fathers are very important. Statistics reveal clearly that absent father households have dire consequences for children later in life and society at large. There is a massive burden that comes with being a father yet there is no manual. This means that fathers learn as they go and along the way make certain mistakes. It comes naturally for fathers to provide so they go all out to do so. This is a good thing. However, it is important to note certain things that are necessary to be the all rounded father God has called men to be.
Matthew 23: 23 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.
A father needs to be complete. He cannot chase one or two essentials and neglect the other essentials. Every father needs to be present physically, emotionally and spiritually.
- Emotionally present – The temptation of fathers wanting to provide for their families drives them away from their families. Man’s first priority of providing means that they are not present emotionally. To be present emotionally is to enjoy the day to day with them, to spend time with them, go to their schools and play with them. When the kids are around, be present with them.
- Spiritually present – Fathers are to bring children up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Fathers need to be spiritually present. Fathers have the privilege to determine where children spend eternity. Fathers need to take this seriously. It is important to ensure that children’s spiritual lives are nourished.
- Physically present – When fathers are at home, be at home. Be available for the children and wife. Life may determine that jobs take fathers far away, but it is imperative to take time to be present. Fathers must make sure they break the pattern of providing at the expense of not being present with their children. Fathers must do their best to ensure they are very available.
Things to note for all rounded Fatherhood:-
- When Fathers are around, they like to discipline and instruct but care must be taken not to take it to the extreme that provokes children. Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. There is a way children can be provoked especially if one is a tough father. It is important to not take harsh measures.
- Don’t take on life alone. Fathers must learn to ask for help; to share. Be strong enough to do that. Fathers must also remember they have fathers too. Take help from earthly fathers. Learn to talk to them. Those years of experience will be most useful. In the multitude of counsellors there is safety.
- Get help from God. 1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,[a] and the head of Christ is God. God is the head of fathers. Fathers must learn to take matters to God. Get help from God. Don’t neglect fellowship with God. Fathers must not be so busy that they live life alone.
- The other helper God has given are wives. Wives are there to be maximised. The same word for helper in the bible is used for both God and wife. Men must not allow their tradition to make God’s command of no effect. A woman is given primarily to help men. The wife is there to help. This means the wife serves as the needed assistance. Every man’s needs are different. Every household is different. It could be that the wife is there to be at home or to earn more. Every formula is different. The woman completes the man. There are areas the man lacks, the woman has. Ecclesiastes 4:9 Two are better than one for they have a good reward for their labour. Together, they make a great success. Wives in turn need to cover their husbands. It’s important not to overdrive them nor expose their faults. Men are fragile which means if discouraged with words, the best of them will not come to light. Men should be encouraged even when they are down. Lift them up.
For young boys, it is important to understand the role of women and the help they carry. It is important not to marry till life’s purpose is clear. You will need a woman to complete you and tie into purpose in life. You are looking for a woman not after the looks but how she will complete you and make you the best in life.
Fathers must recognise times and seasons. Know when to call for help. Be humble, ask for help. Fathers cannot solve every problem. Many stress themselves because of a lack of understanding of the time and season they are in. Create time to exercise. Work is not exercise. There must be a dedicated time in place to exercise. Fathers must prioritise physical health both for themselves and their families.
In conclusion, fathers should learn to rest, enjoy their wives and families.
